she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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