Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
