I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
