His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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