Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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