whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
