are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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