His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Found your dick twin last night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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