Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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