Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
