you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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