It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
