Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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