I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
