I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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