Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
