found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She swung at the pinata with crutches
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
