We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
