Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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