somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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