What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize