sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize