I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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