oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
