First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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