I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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