I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Non-Jews are for practice
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm always down for nudity.
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