In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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