ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
