insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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