just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
