My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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