Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
