Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
