This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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