Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I did not marry a roomba.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
