As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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