we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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