I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
