I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
