Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
