Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
