we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
