didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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