I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
