I love black thongs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Operation Purity has been aborted
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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