At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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