He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How external is "for external use only"?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
