Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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