Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
