Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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