So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
