i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
