just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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