there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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