you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize