I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
