sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize