Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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