well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
