margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
