The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So drunk its hurt
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
