That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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