He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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