I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
