She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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