Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
