just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My ass is underappreciated
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
