I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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